I have begun writing my story and will write excerpts here. I’ve decided to take a writing class and today I answered a writing prompt.
I’m writing a book about….
I’m writing an inspirational memoir. My spiritually awakened journey began in earnest around 1989 with a prophetic knowing that came to me suddenly. I’ve since learned it was a download of information from my Higher Self.
From a young age I remember always being fascinated by all things mysterious and supernatural. I remember at my Catholic elementary school, during vocation week, I knew I wanted to be a mystic. Aside from saint stories I had read, I didn’t have a firm grasp of the concept, only a sense this was the right path for me. I also wanted to be an astronaut, so I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about mysticism as a young girl. As I grew older, I became more interested in the supernatural and mystical. My sister would laugh to come upon me trying to bend spoons with my mind as I’d seen Yuri Geller do on TV. I just felt like I knew how to do these things but had only forgotten. I had incredible flying dreams during my childhood, as well as dreams of past lives. My dreams have always been in color. Those dreams stayed with me, rather than slide away from memory as they usually do. One of my favorites, was a dream set in the ancient past, in a very green country. It felt like Ireland or maybe Scotland. There was a large tower with a high window built in. I had a sense this was a watch tower. In one scene, I’m in a large room of a stone building (possible castle) surrounded by large men wearing battle gear. I’m at the front of them, encouraging them and talking of defense of our homes…or something like that…I’m a tall muscular red headed man. I woke from that dream speaking Gaelic. I understood what I was saying while dreaming, but when I woke up, I forgot. (In 2017, I was finally able to visit Ireland. As soon as I found myself on the West Coast, I felt I was at home.) I believe I spent many past lives in this beautiful country, as it has always called to my Soul.
In college during the early 1990’s, I took a beginning philosophy course. Dr. Long opened my inquisitive and searching mind to the universe. I experienced my first meditation, and it was profound. I experienced a spiritual jolt during this class. I had spent my whole life surrounded by Catholic thought. Here, I stepped outside of the boundary and experienced a new world through internal spiritual awareness of “other”. I had no idea where that awareness would lead me, but knew I wanted more. In graduate school, my boyfriend became interested in transcendental meditation. I went to a few meetings with him and attempted it for myself. I was never able to achieve the state they discussed but have since learned it was not the path for me. I was attracted to him for many reasons, one was his strong faith and interest in spiritual things. It is ironic, considering our future, but he was the one who got me started with automatic writing, learning about pendulum tools, and meditation to attain spiritual knowledge. In college, I experimented with many ways of achieving spiritual peace and access to gifts I felt were inherently mine, only forgotten. It is only with time, that I learned I was seeking access to my Higher Self. My Higher Self had always been accessible. When I used automatic writing, the knowledge came from my Higher Self. I think I believed at the time, the knowledge came from vague spiritual beings or guides – those who supported and loved me. I even tried the Ouija Board a couple of times with a fellow inquisitive friend. Nothing really happened that impressed us. I’m grateful for that. I know it can be a portal for negative energetic beings. I wasn’t using the automatic writing for any high thinking or spiritual knowledge; I was using it for silly girlish things. Did my boyfriend love me? Would we marry? Why did he break up with me? I spent a lot of time pouring over those answers. The message was always the same…we would marry and have a good life together. He was the one I was supposed to be with. We had a lot to teach each other. I never really believed those messages because my relationship with him was difficult over the course of nine years. I believed we would never marry, and I tried to move on many times. We broke up for over a year and I thought that was it. We found each other again through a supernatural experience. We both had decided to pursue our education after graduating with our Bachelors in 1994. I went back for a Master’s in Anthropology, and he went back for a criminal justice degree in the Spring of 1996. It was odd because most people started in the fall. I believe we were supposed to find each other again, and once we had; the educational interest left for both of us. I came out to my car in a very crowded parking structure on the top floor, to get a missing folder. I noticed that my ex’s car was parked directly in front of me. I felt an emotional pinch but decided not to leave a note on his car as I always had in the past. I was ready to move forward, not backward. At the end of the day, when I came back to my car, my ex was gone, but there was a note on my car. That pleasant note of happiness and inquiry about my life led to a new relationship that eventually led to marriage a few years later.
I could write that we lived happily ever after, but there is no novel in that experience. I could have lived out the rest of my life happily, married to my first love, raising our children in the church I had grown up in, singing in choir, a great group of college friends that became life friends. It was what I thought I had always wanted; inclusion, companionship, family. I could have continued this path for the rest of my life and been content, if not completely happy. If only my Soul didn’t have other ideas.
Soul To The World 